A fresh start: who are your friends?

or CHAPTER XI of Marti Soosaare's e-book "A New Beginning"

To start with, I'm currently on coffee with milk and Kalev dark chocolate with nuts. Unfortunately or fortunately it was not a paid advert. Unfortunately, because I don't get paid for it. Fortunately, because at the time of writing I can eat what I want.

Of course, there's a point to this, that to some extent we are what we eat, even though we know that our bodies reprocess nutrients. So, while I can shove kilos of sweet stuff in my face, I end up not being as sweet as chocolate, but just a regular fat fat guy.

What influences us even more about what we eat is our circle of friends, because they actually influence what we eat. We are all subject to social norms, and these norms are shaped by our experiences and our social circle.

In 2003, I went to work in Tallinn for the Estonian Sports Association Kalev, and even though the name of the organisation is a sports organisation, my good colleague Raimo, with whom we usually had lunch together, had developed a habit of going to Hesburger or McDonalds for lunch, and he quickly instilled this habit in me. Two stops by tram from Kosmos to Viru Square and another big burger meal with big fries and Coca-Cola, five times a week. In the two years I worked at Kalev, I discovered that a recent decathlete with a muscular body had become an average office rat with a potbelly. Raimo, of course, didn't mind the countless burgers and apparently continues his daily fast food diet. Unfortunately, I didn't and I'm not the only one.

If your friends like to lick themselves silly every Friday and Saturday at the Nimeta bar until they can't remember their own names and then stuff a garden trolley full of tacos in their mouths on Suur-Karja street, then you can't have much hope of becoming as athletic and slim as Kregor Zirk by spending time there. Maybe you'll do better staying afloat.

If the situation you describe is even vaguely reminiscent of your life, you now have two options. Either you give up hanging out with such friends and find others, or you can make your friends behave differently. This second option may be difficult and you may be lumped in with Jehovah's Witnesses if you start preaching about healthy exercise and nutrition. Of course, it is also possible that your friends have discovered that their health is not as strong as it was at the turn of the millennium and the ground is ripe for a lifestyle change. In that case, give them a chance. Otherwise, change the company you keep on a daily basis for someone more athletic.

Where to find them? The exercise groups already mentioned in the previous chapter are a good place to start to find new friends with sporting interests.

I always think that I want to be more athletic and in better shape than the average Estonian, for whom every other day is a rest day. And as a coach, I want and need to be a role model for those who find it harder to get to the gym than I do. That's why I don't allow myself a lot of time for excuses, and find even 30 minutes to exercise more intensively. This way I can get my workout done in any situation where I know there's no real reason for a rest day.

Krete Junson
youth coach, personal trainer

But how can you get your existing friends to care more about health? A great initiative for men is Longer Friendship Day. Go find it on Facebook.

Go for a check-up with your friends to find out your health risks and get some good advice on how to strengthen your health, and then go hiking or sword riding or paintballing or something else fun you might not have done for ten years. By spending a day together, you can hopefully raise your friends' health consciousness considerably, and ultimately you will benefit too, as your hobbies return to the ones you enjoyed as a youngster, and which were slowly being overtaken by a beer glass in the pub.

If you're surrounded by people with good habits, it's easier for you too. To get more right-thinking people around you, there's another particularly simple and great way.

Share this e-book with your friends. Post the link on Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn. If they read it and change their habits in a more positive way, positive changes will happen around you and affect you.

If you want to be stronger and healthier, change the habits of your friends, or change your circle of friends.

This was the eleventh chapter of Marti Soosaare's e-book "New Beginnings". We have also published the previous chapters, you can read them on our website. from the blog, you can download the whole e-book but HERE.

Invite a friend over or take a workout outdoors with you and choose a workout to do HERE.